14/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

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"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

When the Dead Sea Weds a Babbling Brook

Another area of personality differences is related to speech. Some people talk freely about everything. Others are more thoughtful, introspective, and less likely to share their thoughts and feelings. I have often referred to the latter as the “Dead Sea” and the former as the “Babbling Brook.”

In the nation of Israel, the Dead Sea receives waters from the Jordan River. But the Dead Sea goesnowhere. Many people have that kind of personality. They can receive all kinds of thoughts, feelings,
and experiences throughout the day. They have a large reservoir in which they store the experiences of the day and are perfectly happy not to talk. In fact, if you say to a Dead Sea, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking tonight?” they’ll likely say, “Nothing’s wrong. What makes you think something is wrong?” The Dead Sea is being perfectly honest. He or she is content not to talk.

On the other hand, the Babbling Brook is the individual for whom whatever comes into the eye gateor the ear gate comes out the mouth gate—usually in less than sixty seconds. Whatever they see,whatever they hear, they tell. In fact, if no one is at home they will call someone on the telephone andask, “Do you know what I just heard?” They have no reservoir; whatever they experience, it spills over and they tell it to someone.

Often a Dead Sea will marry a Babbling Brook. Before marriage, the differences are viewed asattractive. For example, while dating, the Dead Sea can relax. He or she does not have to think “How will I get the conversation started?” or, “How will I keep the conversation flowing?” All they have to do is sit there, nod their head, and say, “Uh-huh.” The Babbling Brook will fill up the evening. On theother hand, the Babbling Brook finds the Dead Sea equally attractive because Dead Seas are theworld’s best listeners. However, five years after marriage, the Babbling Brook may be saying,“We’ve been married five years and I don’t know her.” At the same time, the Dead Sea may besaying, “I know him too well. I wish he would stop the flow and give me a break.

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