29/08/18. EPILOGUE

THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I GOT MARRIED (Gary Chapman)

In this book, I have shared with you what I wish someone had told me before I got married. If Karolyn and I had discussed the issues I have raised on these pages, our first years of marriage would have been much easier. Since we did not discuss these issues, our marriage was filled with conflicts, misunderstandings, and frustration. I know the feeling of being married and miserable; of thinking, “I’ve married the wrong woman.” I reasoned that surely if I had married the “right one,” it would not be this difficult. Yes, we eventually found answers to our frustrations and resolution to our conflicts.

We learned how to listen to each other empathetically and understand feelings and desires and to reach workable solutions. For many years we have had a loving, supportive, satisfying marital relationship and haveinvested our lives in helping other couples discover the same.

It is my desire that this book will help thousands of couples have that kind of marriage, without the years of pain and struggle weexperienced.

If you are single and not currently involved in any relationship, I hope the ideas of this bookwill be tucked away in your mind for future reference. You now have a more realistic idea of whatneeds to be considered before you make the decision to get married. When you begin to feel the“tingles” for someone, I hope that you will take this book off the shelf and let it be a guide indeveloping a healthy relationship and a wise decision on whether or not to say, “I do!”

For those of you who are in a committed relationship, I hope that this book will be yourtrusted companion as you get to know each other better. I encourage you to discuss the topics openlyand honestly, and seek to be realistic about what you discover. If so, I believe you will make a wisedecision about whether or not you should get married.

For those who are already officially or unofficially “engaged,” I hope that you will dig deeply intothe issues I have raised. I encourage you not simply to read the chapters but to answer the questionsand follow the suggestions I have made at the end of each chapter. Some of you may discover thatyour engagement is premature; that you really did not know each other well enough to make thatdecision. If so, I hope you will have the courage to be honest with each other, accept theembarrassment this may bring, and either postpone or break your engagement.
I assure you that abroken engagement, while painful, is not nearly as painful as a divorce three years later.

If, on the other hand, you conclude that you old enough in common to build a successful marriage,then your discussion of these issues will better prepare you to make that dream a reality. I genuinelybelieve that if couples will thoroughly discuss the content of this book, they will enter marriage witha much more realistic view of how to have a successful marriage.

A few years ago, a survey revealed that 87 percent of single adults between the ages of twenty andthirty affirmed, “I want to have one marriage that will last for a lifetime.”

They have seen theirparents divorce and felt the pain of abandonment. That is not what they desire to replicate. Thetragedy is that many of them have no idea how to reach the aspiration of a lifelong positive marriagerelationship. It is my desire that this book will provide them with that information.

#Knowledgeisgood
#seekgoodcounsel
#goodmorning
#anniesentcares
#blessedday
#songsofvictory
#dominionera

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28/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

This personality difference can be easily observed in the dating relationship if the couple is looking for it. However, most couples are not. If the organizer sees the spontaneous personality of his dating partner, he will likely admire it and respond positively to her spontaneous ideas. If the spontaneous person sees the organizational skills of the partner, she will most certainly admire the trait and perhaps even express her appreciation. However, if the couple can be a bit more realistic and acknowledge the potential conflicts in this personality difference and discuss how they might handle such conflicts after marriage, they may save themselves the trauma of being shocked by personality clashes after marriage. The fact that you have acknowledged the potential conflicts and
discussed possible solutions will make it much easier for you to discover such solutions when the inevitable conflict arises.

Because personality differences are so profound and because they strongly affect our behavior, I encourage all couples who are seriously contemplating marriage to fill out a personality profile. Few things will better prepare you for the inevitable conflicts in marriage like understanding each other’s personality patterns.

RATING SCALE
On a scale of 1–10, rate yourself on the following personality traits. 10 means extremely highand 1 means extremely low.

a. Optimistic
b. Pessimistic
c. Neat
d. Messy
e. Babbling Brook
f. Dead Sea
g. Pointer
h. Painter
i. Aggressive
j. Passive
k. Logical
l. Intuitive
m. Organizer

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#garychapman
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#yearofvictory
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#blessedday

27/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

The Organizer and the Free Spirit

The organizer will give attention to the details while the spontaneous person—the “free spirit”—thinks, “The details will take care of themselves.” Organizers are planners; they will spend months in preparation for a trip out of town. They will check three different websites, looking for the best airfare. They will make sure the rental car has GPS. They will make hotel reservations weeks in advance. They will give similar attention to where they will eat and what they will do, and certainly, they will make sure that they pack the right equipment. The spontaneous person waits until the night
before the trip and says, “Why don’t we go to the coast instead of the mountains? The sun is so beautiful and the weather is wonderful.” This sends the organizer into a tailspin and the vacation becomes torture.

Before marriage, Beth was impressed with Trent’s organizational skills. “You check your online bank balance every day? That’s amazing!” However, after marriage she is asking, “You want me to write down every expense? That’s impossible. No one does that.” Trent, of course, quickly shows her his little notebook with every expense accurately recorded. To him, it’s simply a matter of being responsible.

Trent will also load the dishwasher in a very organized manner. Plates, bowls, glasses, and silverware—all in their appropriate positions. Beth on the other hand will likely load the dishwasher like she loads the washing machine. Her objective is simply to get the door closed—the dishwasher will take care of the rest. Trent will be quick to point out the chipped plates and broken glasses that
are the result of her whimsical attitude.

In my own marriage, it took me several years to realize that Karolyn would never load a dishwasher the way I loaded it. She simply was not wired with that ability. All of my lectures about why she should not cradle two spoons with peanut butter between them fell on deaf ears. I learned the hard way that life is more than a few chipped dishes, broken glasses, and dirty spoons. I had to give her the freedom to be who she is and, in turn, she freely relinquished the task of loading the
dishwasher. If I must rush off to an evening meeting, she will gladly do the job and I will accept the results.

Trent will also pay the bills in a very organized, methodical manner. If he is out of town for a fewdays on a business trip, he will expect Beth to have the bills stacked neatly on his desk when he returns. However, chances are Beth will not remember what she did with the mail or even if she brought it inside the house. He may find the bills in the car, on the floor, or under the couch cushion.

He is amazed that anyone could be so irresponsible. Beth is equally amazed that anyone could be so rigid. This personality difference has the potential for heated conflicts.

Till tomorrow, stay blessed.
#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#awesomeweek

24/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

Professors and Dancers
These personality differences often go undiscovered and undiscussed before marriage.
During the courtship phase of the relationship, decisions are often made simply because he and she want to please each other. After marriage, when life gets serious and real, this desire to please each other is not as natural.

When differences emerge, the logical thinker will seek to press the intuitive thinker into having logical reasons for their position. This is expecting and demanding the impossible.

The intuitive person will never process life with the logic of the professor.

If you try to force each other into your own personality mold, you may spend a lifetime in conflict.

We must recognize that logical and intuitive thinking are both legitimate ways of processing life.

We must focus not on the process whereby we reach our conclusions but on finding conclusions with which both of us can agree.

The principles we discussed in Chapter Four on how to resolve disagreements without arguing will be extremely helpful to couples who have this personality differences.

May God help you, Amen.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#sweetweekend

We will be through with this book next week by God's grace. Thanks for following.

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com.

23/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

Professors and Dancers

Some people are extremely logical in their reasoning. They progress through rational steps and reach what to them is a logical conclusion. Other people simply know in their heart what is right in a given situation. They cannot tell you why or how they reached that conclusion; they simply know that it is the right decision.

I have sometimes called the logical thinker the professor. For the professor, everything must be reasoned out. “We must have logical reasons for everything we do. If it is not logical, we shouldn’t do it.” The intuitive person is more like the dancer. “We don’t need logical reasons for everything we do. We do some things simply because we enjoy them. I don’t know why. Do I always have to know why? I want to do it just because.” Before marriage the professor was enamored with the intuitive wisdom of the dancer while the dancer was proud of the professor’s logic.

However, after marriage the professor is slowly driven insane by the same illogical behavior, while the dancer wonders how she can continue living with a person so obsessed with reason.

One husband said to his wife,
“Trish, listen to me. The walls are not dirty; they don’t need painting again. Don’t you understand that?”

His wife responded,

“Yes, I understand that. But I don’t want green walls any longer.”

The professor has a difficult time making decisions based on desire. The dancer cannot imagine why anyone would want to be held in the prison of logic.

If you try to force each other into your own personality mold, you may spend a lifetime in conflict.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#blessedday

We will be through with this book next week by God's grace. Thanks for following.

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22/08/18 Thought Limitations

WORD COUNT
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee."

TODAY'S RECIPE
A man cannot rise above the level of his thoughts. Renew your mind always with the word of God.

Every measure of progress that a man has experienced started from the mind.

When we pray for God to change our circumstances, we must learn to first change our thoughts. It is when our prayers agree with our thoughts that the prayers are answered.

For example, if you are believing for a hitch-free home, configure your mind to believe in it's possibility despite the noise around.

Anniesentcares
#Proverbs:23:7
#yearofvictory
#renewedmind
gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

20/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

(Quite a long Chapter but not too worry, we are almost done.)

Are these traits observable in the relationship stage?

The answer is yes, but often they are never discussed. The passive person tends to simply go along with anything the aggressive person wants to do. They enjoy the adventure and are caught up in the excitement of being in love. They will seldom express opposition to the aggressive person’s ideas. When the two of them walk into a room, the aggressive person will assess what needs to be done and take charge to make it happen while the passive person stands by, perhaps talking to a friend, waiting to see what the evening will bring. The aggressive person will often engage the passive person by asking them to do something specific to
move the cause along.

Because they are in love with the aggressor, the passive personality often complies and may even feel good about having been a part of the process.

While there is nothing innately wrong with either of these personality traits, they do hold the potential for irritation after marriage. When the heightened emotions of being in love have faded, the passive person will be more resistant to the request of the aggressor and may feel that they are being manipulated or controlled.

The aggressor may feel frustrated and even angry with the hesitation of the passive personality. It is certainly possible for these two individuals to build a successful marriage, but it requires the aggressor to be empathetic and understanding of the passive personality.

He must take time to hear the concerns of the passive individual and even to realize the assets that they bring to the marriage. For example, “looking before one leaps” is always a good idea. The passive person is far more likely than the aggressor to be “looking.” On the other hand, the passive person must allow the aggressive person to use her strengths and let her leap before it is too late. If you cannot conscientiously leap with her, then hold the rope while she does so.

Together you will accomplish much in life, if you learn how to complement each other, rather than be competitors.

If you can discuss this personality difference before marriage and gain some experience in working together as a team, you are far more likely to make this difference an asset rather than a liability once you are married.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#gloriousweek
#blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com.

17/08/18. RELAX IN HIS WILL

WORD COUNT
"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

TODAY'S RECIPE
The Miracles/testimonies necessary for our peaceful and happy livelihood require PROCESSING TIME (Patience).

Relax and be vigilant to divine Timing. Don't work out any relationship with your brain by portraying who you are not.

The best is yet to come.

#1Corinthians2:9
#anniesentcares
#goodmorning
#wordfromthemoon😁😀😀😀

Enjoy your weekend

16/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

Passives and Aggressives

The old adage says, “Some people read history; others make it.” Often these people are married to each other. The aggressive husband or wife believes that each day is a new opportunity to advance the cause. They will aggressively pursue what they want, what they believe to be right, or what they think should happen. They will go to all ends, they will turn every stone, and they will do everything humanly possible to accomplish their goals in life. On the other hand, the passive person will spend time thinking, analyzing, wondering “What if?” and waiting for something good to happen. Their theme is, “Everything comes to him who waits.”

Before marriage, these traits made them seem compatible. The aggressive partner found it comforting to observe the calm, cool, and collected nature of the other person. They liked the stable, predictable nature of the one they loved. The passive person was pleased to have someone make plans and chart courses for their future. They admired the accomplishments of their aggressive lover.

After marriage, the couple often finds these traits divisive. The aggressive partner keeps trying to push the passive partner into action. “Come on; we can make this happen” is their mantra. On the other hand, the passive partner keeps saying, “Let’s wait. There might be a better opportunity later.

Don’t get so excited. Everything is going to work out.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#awesomeweekend
#blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

15/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

These differences are also seen in the way people tell stories. The Babbling Brook tends to be a painter. If they are telling you an experience they have had, they will paint a beautiful, detailed picture of the event. They will tell you whether it was cloudy or the sun was shining, which way the wind was blowing, what kind of flowers were in the background, and how many people were standing on the other side of the parking lot.

On the other hand, the Dead Sea tends to be a pointer. If they were telling the same experience, it would be much shorter with fewer details. They simply “get to the point.” They are bottom-line communicators. Often in a marriage, the pointer will find it very difficult to listen to the long and detailed account of the painter.

They will sometimes interrupt and
say “Could you just get to the point?” However, when the painter is listening to the pointer, they will often ask questions trying to glean more details so they have a better picture of the pointer’s story.
The painter will always be a painter and the pointer will always be a pointer. These personality patterns of speech are not likely to change, nor is one better than another.

However, if we understand these personality differences, we are less likely to try to change each other after we are married. The Dead Sea will never become a Babbling Brook. So the person who is married to a Dead Sea must be content to live with a person who will not readily share all of their thoughts and feelings. Most Dead Seas are open to questions and are willing to share more if the Babbling Brook will ask those questions.

The Dead Sea is not willfully withholding information; they simply have no compulsion to share all of their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

While the Dead Sea may be content to listen to the constant talk of the Babbling Brook, he or she may sometimes long for moments of silence. That is why they sometimes withdraw to the computer or other activities. The Babbling Brook must understand. They are not being rejected by the Dead Sea.

The Dead Sea is simply longing for a more contemplative climate. When these personality differencesare discussed before marriage, they are far less likely to be troublesome after marriage.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#awesomeweek
#blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

14/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

When the Dead Sea Weds a Babbling Brook

Another area of personality differences is related to speech. Some people talk freely about everything. Others are more thoughtful, introspective, and less likely to share their thoughts and feelings. I have often referred to the latter as the “Dead Sea” and the former as the “Babbling Brook.”

In the nation of Israel, the Dead Sea receives waters from the Jordan River. But the Dead Sea goesnowhere. Many people have that kind of personality. They can receive all kinds of thoughts, feelings,
and experiences throughout the day. They have a large reservoir in which they store the experiences of the day and are perfectly happy not to talk. In fact, if you say to a Dead Sea, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking tonight?” they’ll likely say, “Nothing’s wrong. What makes you think something is wrong?” The Dead Sea is being perfectly honest. He or she is content not to talk.

On the other hand, the Babbling Brook is the individual for whom whatever comes into the eye gateor the ear gate comes out the mouth gate—usually in less than sixty seconds. Whatever they see,whatever they hear, they tell. In fact, if no one is at home they will call someone on the telephone andask, “Do you know what I just heard?” They have no reservoir; whatever they experience, it spills over and they tell it to someone.

Often a Dead Sea will marry a Babbling Brook. Before marriage, the differences are viewed asattractive. For example, while dating, the Dead Sea can relax. He or she does not have to think “How will I get the conversation started?” or, “How will I keep the conversation flowing?” All they have to do is sit there, nod their head, and say, “Uh-huh.” The Babbling Brook will fill up the evening. On theother hand, the Babbling Brook finds the Dead Sea equally attractive because Dead Seas are theworld’s best listeners. However, five years after marriage, the Babbling Brook may be saying,“We’ve been married five years and I don’t know her.” At the same time, the Dead Sea may besaying, “I know him too well. I wish he would stop the flow and give me a break.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#awesomeweek
#blessedday

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13/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

Sub-topic: Neatniks and Slobs

Then there are the Neatnik and the Slob. “I’ve never known anyone as sloppy as Ben,” said Alicia.
How many wives have said this about their husbands less than a year after their wedding?
Interestingly, before marriage this never bothered Alicia. Oh, she may have noticed that the car wassometimes messy or that his apartment was not as neat as she would have had it, but somehow she
concluded that “Ben is a more relaxed person than I am. That’s good; I like that. I need to loosen up alittle.”

Ben, on the other hand, looked at Alicia and found an angel. “Isn’t it wonderful that Alicia isalways so tidy? Now I don’t have to worry about keeping everything clean because she will take careof that.” However, three years later he is being bombarded with verbal stones of condemnation towhich he responds, “I don’t understand why you would get so upset over a few dishes left out.”

Some people do live by the motto “A place for everything and everything in its place.”

Otherpeople have no compulsion to put away their tools, clothes, used coffee mugs, or anything else. Afterall, they may use them again in a week or two. They reason, “Why would you want to waste timepicking up dirty clothes every day? Leave them on the floor until it’s time to wash them. They aren’tgoing anywhere and they don’t bother me.”

Yes, we are wired differently and have difficulty understanding why the other person would notsee it our way. This personality difference is not hard to discover; it simply requires that during therelationship, you keep your eyes open to reality. Look at his car and his apartment and you will knowwhether he is a Neatnik or a Slob. Look at her kitchen and her bedroom closet and you will also knowwhich personality pattern is natural for her. If the two of you fall into the same category, you willeither have an immaculate home or a place where you have to step over the clutter. But both of youwill be happy. If you fall into different categories, then now is the time for negotiation. Face realityand discuss who will be responsible for what after you are married in order to keep some level ofemotional sanity. If she is willing to pick up his dirty clothes daily and put them in the laundry hamperas his mother did when he was in high school, this is fine.

However, if she expects him to be moreresponsible, then he must be willing to change or else hire his mother to come over daily to pick uphis clothes. Certainly a satisfactory solution can be negotiated—but the time to start negotiation is before marriage.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#awesomeweek
#blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

10/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

The answer to this personality difference lies in understanding and accepting the differences, and not condemning each other for being who they are.

They must then negotiate a method of honoring each other’s personality. One such plan may be to agree on a dollar amount that the couple would have in secure investments before the optimist would engage in high-risk investments. Once this minimum level of investments is in place, they could agree on a dollar amount that he could invest in a higher-risk investment with the understanding that if he lost it all, she would not condemn him. On the other hand, if the investment is successful, she commends him for his investment skills and together they celebrate their financial success.

If a courting couple is willing to negotiate these kinds of arrangements before they get married, they will save themselves many unnecessary arguments over how they will handle the finances. The same principle is true in scores of other areas in which the pessimist and the optimist are likely to have very different views about the action that should be taken.

Understanding, accepting, and negotiating personality differences are essential in building a foundation for a healthy marriage.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#favouredday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

09/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got Married

Two years after marriage when he suggests that the two of them go rock climbing, she stronglyresists the idea. Not only is she unwilling, she also resists the idea of him going alone or with friends.
She can envision herself being a widow and cannot understand why he would be willing to take sucha risk. On the other hand, he is totally blown away by her response. He wonders what happened toher spirit of adventure. Why is she being such a killjoy?
Because they failed to discover and discuss this personality difference before marriage, they findthemselves embroiled in a conflict that neither of them understands. In reality, they are both simplybeing who they are, an optimist and a pessimist. The problem is neither of them knew who the otherperson was before they got married. The euphoria of the dating experience blinded them to thispersonality difference. Had they discussed this difference before marriage, he would have realizedthat she would never be a rock climber, nor would she ever go skydiving with him. He would alsohave realized that if he chose to do such things, he would do so in the face of great resistance from hiswife.�

This personality difference is likely to create conflicts in the area of money management. Theoptimist will tend to be an adventurous investor, willing to take huge levels of risk with the hope ofpositive results. On the other hand, the pessimist will want to invest in more stable and securemarkets. They will spend sleepless nights if the spouse pulls them into a high-risk investment. And if
the investment goes south, the pessimist will blame the optimist for taking undue risks with theirmoney. The optimist is likely to see the pessimist as being non-supportive of their ideas and thus,blame the spouse for “holding them back” from success.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#favouredday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

08/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got married

Half Full or Half Empty?

Let’s look at some of the other personality differences that often go undiscovered and undiscussedbefore marriage. The pessimist and the optimist are often attracted to each other. The optimist sees
the glass as half full; the pessimist sees it as half empty. The optimist sees the possibilities while thepessimist sees the problems. Each of us has a basic leaning in one direction or the other, but we areoften unaware of this aspect of our personality.

In the early stage of the relationship, we each assume that the other person views theworld as we view it. Because we are each enamored with the other and seeking to accommodate each other, this personality difference may not be apparent. For example, the optimist tends to be a risk taker becausehe is convinced in his own mind that everything will turn out fine. Thus, he may suggest that the two of
them go bungee jumping. The pessimist by nature does not want to take risks because she assumes thatthe worst could happen. Therefore, she would never have entertained the thought of bungee jumping,but because she admires and trusts her lover, she is willing to do something she would never have
done on her own. The optimist is thrilled to be in relationship with someone who is willing to be adventuresome,
while never realizing that she has gone far beyond her emotional comfort zone.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#getknowledge
#favouredday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

07/08/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got married

A morning person will never become a night person, and a night person will never
become a morning person.
If Karolyn and I had known that I was a morning person and she was a night person, and if we hadused our dating time to discuss this personality difference, we would have saved ourselves a lot of emotional pain. I would not have felt rejected because she was not having breakfast with me, and shewould not have felt controlled by my insisting that she go to bed at 10 p.m. Yes, I wish we had knownthat personality differences profoundly influence behavior.

Settle individual differences

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#lightilluminates
#Blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

02/08/18. That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got married

Is there hope for this couple?
Certainly, if they choose to respect their differences and negotiate a solution. For example, thenight person may agree to have sex at 10 p.m. if the morning person will allow them to leave the
bedroom after love-making and pursue their other interests until midnight. However, if the morningperson insists that the night person remain in bed after making love, that person may feel manipulated,controlled, and frustrated. A morning person will never become a night person, and a night person
will never become a morning person. It’s a part of our personality. With effort, we can push
ourselves to be functional in those early or late hours that are not prime time for us. But it will nev�er without an effort.

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#lightilluminates
#Blessedday

gracedrelationshiprecipe@blogspot.com

1/8/18 That Personality Profoundly Influences Behavior

Word count:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Book review: Things I wish I'd known before we got married

Neither of us knew before marriage that there are "morning persons" and there are "night persons:" Morning persons awake with the enthusiasm of a kangaroo, springing to face the day with the excitement, while the night person hides under the covers and thinks, "They must be playing a game-no one can be that excited in the morning."
Night persons have their "prime time" from 10p.m. until... That's when they enjoy reading, painting, playing games, doing anything that demands a lot of energy, while the morning person is quickly fading at that hour.

This personality difference may have a profound impact upon the couple's sexual relationship. The morning person wants to go to bed at ten, cuddle, and make love, while the night person is saying, "You have got to be kidding. I can't go to bed this early." The morning person may feel rejected, while the night person feels like they are being controlled. This may lead to arguments and frustration. Is there hope for this couple?

#Amos3:3
#uniquebeings
#anniesentcares
#Dominion2018
#songsofvictoryontheway
#yearofvictory
#lightilluminates
#Blessedday

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