01-08-16 CONCLUSION ON HANDLING FIRST LOVE

"Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. Proverbs 23:23"

True Love is always sincere, cannot die, not harmful and trustworthy. Daniel and Fola's case may seems confusing but its not, if well handled.

Fola needs to be sincere if she can truly carry on with her marriage with Daniel. Her Union with Daniel may lack joy, peace and true commitment if she is not sincere as regards the position of her heart.

Remember, a broken courtship is better than an unhappy/unfulfilled marriage; it better to have a woman whose heart is with you not someone else.

Was there a direction before she entered into the courtship with Daniel? Is her relationship with Gbenga divinely ordained?

First love may be strong yet without joy and fulfilment if it lacks divine backing.

Daniel and Fola must settle the issue of TRUST, LOVE AND COMMITMENT before the marriage.

Thanks for all your opinions, contributions and suggestions. I know we've been able to bless some lives.

'Its not only about first or second love, its about divine choice.'

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29-07-16 HANDLING FIRST LOVE 4

"Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. Proverbs 23:23"

We love you all for your comments and counsel to Fola and Daniel. Your response meant so much to us as we share this to bless others out there who found themselves in such situation and are confused.

TOBI
I think Fola should inform Daniel's parents and explain to them all what happened. They should be in d best position to help her. That is if her love for Daniel is genuine.
I think if she can't talk to Daniel as at that time, his parents should be able to do that better after all d begging and pleading.

YEMISI
I believe in every godly relationship, ugly past must be discussed... If that has been done, Daniel should come closer to Fola more than before because it may not be easy for her to avoid Gbenga due to the feelings they both had. Fola should be prayerful to know mind of God on the present issue and go for godly counseling.

Mary
Since Fola failed on her path to tell Daniel about her past relationship and invited Gbenga to her apartment which is not appropriate, the place of prayer and confession can't be overemphasized at this time.
Then, if Daniel has truly met with Christ and has a forgiving spirit as we were told in the story, Fola shouldn't hesitate to see her Pastor or Daniel's pastor or both, to explain things to them, seek their counsel or that of the marriage committee in order to convince Daniel of the genuineness of her apology. These people can still influence Daniel of the truth.
And of course, Fola shouldn't marry Gbenga, except Daniel isn't going back on his decisions. Fola is however free yo marry Gbenga if she's led and convinced.
#my opinion #

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28-07-16 HANDLING FIRST LOVE 3

"Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. Proverbs 23:23"

We bless God for a new day.
Truth may appear difficult but with the existence of the TRUTH in your heart, it will be easier to always know and do the right thing.

We still received some opinions on Fola's issue. Don't hide the truth from your partner please.

Jaiye
At Annie's story...my stakes: God may be at work for the lady in order to marry the right man. Considering the opinions from others, I think mine will counter some points.

I feel she should be able to talk to Daniel and settling it on their own. Daniel should be able to trust his supposed wife. If they can't settle this on their own, How will they settle serious issues after marriage?
She should focus her prayer points on grace not to miss the right man (that is if she is having doubts.)

Boluwatife
I think d lady should try to explain everything to Daniel. She should have told him about the other guy before, that is why we should open to ourselves during courtship so there won't be problems like this.

If after explanations and pleadings, Daniel is still not forthcoming, she should leave everything to God, if he's meant for her, he will come back and if not, Gbenga maybe the right guy.

By the grace of God, godly professional counselors will also give us their opinion on this matter before the last series.
Have a great day.

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27-07-16 HANDLING FIRST LOVE2

"Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. Proverbs 23:23"

Wow! We had responses based on opinions, suggestions and all. Although, they are easier written or read than done, but I will encourage us to always do the right thing.
Let's share some:

To my own opinion and suggestions, I think the sister should travail in prayer and commit things to God's hands cos with God all things are possible and I believe Daniel will listen to her own side of the story and moreover before they get too close to each other they should have unveiled their past to each other because it's normal that Daniel reacted in such a way since he was once into it before he got saved.  I believe if Daniel is the will of God for her he will surely stay. But my own advise to her is never to go back to her first love cos she never can predict the kind of person he is now. May God help her.
BUKOLA

Hmm! I believe Fola should have told Daniel about Gbenga before the time. And since she knows how she loved Gbenga then, she shouldn't have allowed any private discussion between the two of them alone in the room. The solution now is to pray to God first to take the heart of Daniel for her and then apologize to him. I believe with that, if Daniel truly loves her, he will surely forgive her.
BOLA

Fola will surely explain to Daniel and the wedding will still hold while Gbenga will move back to Abroad...
Synonymous

Could Gbenga be the destined man for Fola? Hmm!
See you tomorrow with more reactions as to how we can handle the sudden appearance of first love.

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26-07-16 HANDLING FIRST LOVE

"Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint. Proverbs 25:19"

Its a beautiful day in a blessed week because everything created by God is good. We do not own ourselves, so we move whenever He instructs.

Relationship Recipe was not broadcasted yesterday because there was no proper preparation for it. Please bear with us.

This week, by the help of the Almighty God, we will be realistic about the issue of FIRST LOVE. Some finds it difficult to start another relationship even when there is break in communication with the man/woman they first loved and we've also seen failed marriages resulting to the reunion first loves.
"Can you then TRUST someone still nursing the wound from his/her first love?"

Daniel was once an unbeliever who lived a reckless life. He defiled so many careless girls, but he was blessed to have met Christ in his University days. He became transformed as he started living a new life.
Folakemi was born into a Christian family, her parents had instilled in  her the  fear of God and she had kept herself sexually pure. She met with Gbenga during her orientation program as a fresh student in the University; Gbenga helped her so well when she had certain difficulties during her registration, so both became close. They developed a friendship that was more than a mere friendship.
Folakemi so much liked Gbenga and they planned taking their love life to the marriage level.

After their degree program, Gbenga travelled out of the country and they both lost contact. Fola was heartbroken because she loved Gbenga so much but time healed her broken heart.
The path of Fola and Daniel then crossed and they entered into a serious relationship with marriage in view. They had their introduction ceremony and already picked a date for their wedding when the path of  Fola and Gbenga crossed again. Gbenga decided to have a serious chat with Fola in her room, a self-contain apartment. Gbenga told her the reason they lost contact and that he still very much loved her and he came back in search for her. Fola was moved to tears with Gbenga's story how Gbenga had made effort to look for her all to no avail and he decided to come into the country to look for her. They hugged each other tightly out of past emotions and love, with tears in their eyes and immediately Daniel opened the door of the room and saw Gbenga about placing a kiss on Fola's forehead as they hugged.
He couldn't believe his eyes that his fiancee whom he trusts so much and about to wed, is in another man's arms. He barged out of the room.

Fola was dazed, she knew she is in for a great trouble because her fiance is so stubborn, he wouldn't listen to her. She told Gbenga everything. All her effort to clean up the mess proved futile, Daniel was so much disappointed and heart broken in his Saint Fola who wouldn't dare shake another guy talk less of hugging him. He had thought she is just a deadly hypocrite and he wanted the wedding cancelled.

At this juncture, your counsel is needful. God bless you.

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24-07-16 COMMITMENT 5

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; Trust also in HIM; and he shall bring it to pass". Psalm 37:5.

We appreciate all those who shared this series on different social media, also those who responded to the issue.
Let's go through our questions once again:

Is it appropriate to open a joint bank account with our fiance/fiancee, so that we can save money ahead of our future? Can I commit my huge business/ministry to the hands of my partner while I travel for a programme outside the country? At what stage can I be totally trust and be committed?

The first step/stage is that you define purpose with your partner, with adequate time frame, most importantly, with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Be sure, ready and determined to journey with him/her for the rest of your life; Duly informed God, your mentors and parents of your courtship if not, you are not secured, and  FEAR can knock you out at anytime.

Joint savings and business ahead of the wedding plans and home is good, it enhance trust, seriousness and commitment.
Your finance/business will be safe with your partner, either you are around or not once both of you established your goal and objectives with adequate time frame, but it is wisdom to carry someone close along with whatever you're doing (your mentor, family or trusted friend); all these are achievable when the purpose of your relationship is well defined.

Be trustworthy and committed in your courtship so as to reap success, peace and fulfilment.

Commit the journey first to God and He will bring it to PASS.

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23-07-16 COMMITMENT

"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass". Psalm 37:4-5

Trust is not to be handled with levity in all relationships. You have to first Trust God before your delight in men.
Trust in God and the desires of your heart according to His Will will be settled.
The man in question is a new convert and needs more knowledge of the word of God for decision making, but we could see that the ultimate desire of his heart is getting a Christian woman. The best way to approach such is not just to pick a church worker for speedy growth and trust. 'Its easy to trust your partner when you are sure God is involved and His word will surely be fulfilled, though it tarried.'

TOSIN said:
Another thing to be considered is, has she met his parent? If she has the backing of God and his parent with good communication, then she should seek God's direction and inform her pastor/counselor.

YEMISI also mentioned that:
If both of them begin their journey with God, Shade should go back to God for assistant. she should pour out her mind to him and avoid filthy communication with friends that can mislead God's purpose for her. Lastly both partner should be prayerful and works towards settling down.

We will conclude tomorrow as God helps us to shed more light on this issue.

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22-07-16 COMMITMENT 3

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

Responses from yesterday's story:

Mary
If I'm in her shoes, I will pray about it, involve my pastors and the result of the prayers will determine my next course of action
If he is the will of God and we still communicate well, I'll wait till he returns.

Jaiyeoba
Anyway... My advice to her is she need to tighten up her communication with the man. Discuss all bothering issue relating to marriage.. That is why it is called courtship. It is different thing to pray for who God want you to marry and a different thing to communicate with your partner. God is not a magician.
The result of her communication can now let her know her next line of action. E.g praying for the man to get his PhD without delay.
Let's be wise in both spiritual and physical things.
My conclusion from story is that they are into courtship, I think they are both getting it wrong by not informing the pastor or marriage committee in church of their plans of getting married early enough. If the brother does not know the implications, the sister should know.
Finally, I think the man self get trust issue.. I pray he trust God more than the woman.

Daniel
If I am in her shoes, though easy said than done, but I will wait for him to come. Listening  to negative counsel from people is a foolish thing to do. And more so, for me to be the choir director of my church, I must have attain some level spiritual maturity which should include ability to hear from God.

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21-07-16 COMMITMENT 2

Wasiu suffered heart break from his ex girlfriends, one called Angela, pretended to loved him because of his complexion, physic and riches. Few months later, she disappeared into thin air with another man; it was later heard that they had an accident on their journey to Lagos (Nigeria).

Wasiu, after his experience with three ladies, lost his trust in them. He had an encounter with Jesus Christ and he began to live a new life in Him. He decided to choose a woman from the church. After six months, he began a relationship with the choir director of his church and did not know it was necessary to inform the Pastor of such until wedding plans had started.

His trust and commitment in his woman is unmeasurable. He even committed his Brick industries business to her and travelled to the US for his PhD. They planned to have their wedding when he returns.
Shade, his girlfriend waited and waited for three years; although they always communicate through several means but Shade is now expose to different counsels from friends and parents, that her man might have settled down, maybe he tied her down with the business.
If you are in her shoes, what will you do?

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18-07-16 COMMITMENT

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."Psalm 37:5

Commitment goes along with Trust. You cannot be committed to a man/woman you do not trust.
Trust accompanies Love. That means you cannot Love somebody outside Trust.

This week, we will be considering by God's grace, the relationship among Commitment, Trust and Love.

Is it appropriate to open a joint bank account with our fiance/fiancee, so that we can save money ahead of our future? Can I commit my huge business/ministry to the hands of my partner while I travel for a programme outside the country? At what stage can I be totally trust and be committed?

This is the third week of our practical recipes. Let's get ready with our responses after reading the story for the week tomorrow by God's.
I'm sure your response will bless others.
Happy New Week!

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CONCLUSION ON FAITHFULNESS

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much". Luke 16:10

It is expedient to be found faithful to your partner. No matter how many months/years you've known each other, be faithful, reveal necessary information. Even if your partner is not as rich/caring as you wish, be faithful, faithfulness births blessings (Proverbs 28:20).

Unfaithfulness builds on deceit.
Don't attach your faithfulness to any condition.

If you are faithful in little, it will be easy to be faithful in much.

God bless you

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16-07-16 FAITHFULNESS 5

"Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful" 1 Corinthians 4:2

You cannot afford to endanger your life by settling down with someone you don't trust and hardly know.

An unfaithful man cannot manage a home while an unfaithful woman cannot keep a home talk less of building it.

If a faithful man is put in charge of a city, he will represent the owner well by guiding all the treasures therein with his last breathe.

Do not risk your life by settling down with an unfaithful partner. Its a waste of time, resources and a great risk to your destiny.

A faithful man/woman is found ACCOUNTABLE.

"People see you as a saint,
Coward people always hide,
Open up, open up, open up,
Let's see the real you".
These are the lyrics of the song composed for our movie - The Tactics.
God bless you.
Enjoy your weekend.

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15-07-16 FAITHFULNESS 4

"Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint." Proverbs 25:19

Its a great disaster to rely on an unfaithful man/woman. Its like fetching, with all your energy into a basket.
Revelation of our ugly past is necessary and very important before marriage and it's in level. For example, if your Lady turns out to be the daughter of the woman you killed or armed before your new birth, will you confess at the point of friendship? I'm sure, No. This is different from the issue of virginity discussed in the story we read.

As much as you want your partner to be faithful to you, try and take the lead, ignoring the repercussions but with elderly counsels and godly wisdom. I'm not talking about counsels from friends who have no clue of our predicaments.

Yemisi said something which I will love to share:

"The past of each other should be reveal when intention of marriage is known or in view. Although, some past needs the wisdom of God, prayer and help of counselor as the case maybe...  Remember, once God is involved, past mistake will be resolved by His grace because you are one in Christ. Thanks"

Enjoy your weekend as we continue tomorrow by God's grace.

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14-07-16 FAITHFULNESS 3

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much." Luke 16:10

Any home built on deceit will surely crumble. Faithfulness is a necessary factor needed to build a home.
I still got some comments on the appropriate stage to reveal an ugly past to a partner but can I ask? Can we do it through a third party, like our Mentor, Pastor or Parent?

Jide said, "I really love this write up more grace in Jesus name.
One of the things I actually believe in a relationship is that we should go to where we will be celebrated not where we will be tolerated. I believe we should relate our past both pleasant and unpleasant to our partners at the inception of the relationship. If your partner says capital NO to you because of your bad records after telling your partner that you have changed and you are now a child of God. Let him or her go, that person is not the will of God for you. God will definitely bring someone that will celebrate you even with your bad records. Don't start your relationship with lies but with true, love and fear of God, that is when a solid relationship can be built. To me, it is better to marry a faithful defiled person than a demonic unfaithful virgin.

Tope(Mrs.)
Well, I think there will be a stage when you know the intention of your partner is marriage and not just friendship or play. It is better when you see the seriousness in the other party ( if he/she can live with such without problem, he/she will stay no matter what) so you don't end up telling every dick, tom and harry your ugly past when they do not intend to marry you in the first instance.
You don't wait until you have known his/her parents or the introduction/wedding plans have started, else everyone would eventually hear about the reason for the break up. Be wise!!!

I appreciate you friends. We will conclude on this matter after checking the other comments tomorrow by God's grace.
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13-07-16 COMMENTS ON FAITHFULNESS

"He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much." Luke 16:10

Kemi
At the early stage, you have to define your relationship. 

Tope
Well, I think there will be a stage when you know the intention of your partner is marriage and not just friendship or play. It is better when you see the seriousness in the other party ( if he/she can live with such without problem, he/she will stay no matter what) so you don't end up telling every dick, tom and harry your ugly past when they do not intend to marry you in the first instant.

You don't wait until you have known his/her parents or the introduction/wedding plans have started, else everyone would eventually hear about the reason for the break up. Be wise!!!

Daniel
Actually, I believe there are different past with varying degrees of severity when exposed. Because of that, some secret needed to be made known from the point of proposal or acceptance. Some immediately, some, when the partner have gain confidence in the other partner with level of commitment to the relationship and some should be as soon as you start taking about the physical marriage ceremony. Believe me that, another important key to success restitution/confession apart of honesty is appropriate timing.

Tomilayo
I think the earlier the better maybe before 6 months. It should be handled by a matured person depending on how ugly the past is and the consequences in the future. This will give the other person the room to pray for better conviction and the decision to stay or go.

These are some of contributions we received from the question posted yesterday. We will continue tomorrow by God's grace.

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11-07-16 FAITHFULNESS 1

The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7

Glory to God for a new life in Him. I love to share a true life story with us and expect our comments in my mail or whatsapp wall if we are yet to send ours.

In the middle of the night, a man ran out of an hotel room with just
boxer shorts on him, he was shouting
"No....I won't take this.....haaaaa, lailai, I can't take it.....mi o le
gba....."
The hotel attendants were already alerting the security men to come
and take care of a man that just ran mad before the man started
narrating his ordeal like something was pushing him to talk by force
"she told me she is a virgin! She made me believe no man has ever
touched her! But IT IS A LIE! I just entered a big hole (don't ask me
the meaning) She fooled me....."
This is a true story a family friend told me about a brother and a
sister that just got wedded and I began to wonder what the sister in
question was thinking that made her tell such a blatant lie, maybe she
was thinking if the brother should discover she had lived a sinful life,
he might lose interest in her and probably leave her, she was probably
thinking by the time the man would discover the truth, he must have
put rings on her finger, afterall, no room for divorce.
The man was complaining bitterly on Facebook because
his wife lied to him about the number of ex-boyfriend she had and he
later discovered IT WAS A LIE, this made him find it difficult to believe
anything she says, WHAT A CALAMITY!
Lack of trust is the beginning of calamity in any home, it is the root of
most of the divorced marriages.....STOP THE LIES.....be open to each
other, let the other party build a strong trust in you, don't build our
home on shaky foundations.
Let's live our lives to please our Creator.
(WRITER'S Pen)

So back to my question: At what level of the relationship/courtship is it appropriate to share our unpleasant past experiences with our partner?
Send your comments to bless others
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11-07-16

Graced Relationship Recipe will take a more practical form this week by God's grace as we discuss extensively on Faithfulness in Relationships/Courtship.

For example: At What level in the relationship is it appropriate to share our ugly past with our partner?

The above question and many more, received from our people, will receive graced answers this week by God's grace.

Get ready with your contributions as it bless others...

See you tomorrow
Have a great day
In all your getting, GET WISDOM!

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09-07-16 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP 5

'I will STAND upon MY WATCH, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to SEE what He will SAY unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved.' Habakkuk 2:1

This week has been a blessing as we received great responses from our followers and friends.

What are the hidden wounds on your way to the altar?

Look before you leap my dear friend.

Conclusively on our subject matter for this week, it is inappropriate to cohabit with an opposite sex living alone as Sola did; no matter the level of his/her spiritual life, blood still flows in that vein. (Some see this as answered prayers as regards marriage)

Accepting proposal on conditional basis such as Act of Gratefulness, is not appropriate. You need to seek divine and godly counsel before your 'YES'. You don't own your life, God owns it.

It is wrong to die in silence especially over unpleasant behaviours you discovered in your partner. Let's check relevant ones:

Have your partner discovered Purpose?

How about closeness to God and His Word, does your partner care?

In Finance decision, who always bear the burden?

Time management, how well do you plan successfully?

Are you safe whenever you alone with your partner, or you always run back to God for forgiveness?

Is your partner accountable or bossy?

How many lives have you taken or offended just to keep you partner happy?

These are just some issues that need to be dealt with before you tie the knot.
Marriage Without standing upon your Watch to hear God CLEARLY ends in Mirage.

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07-07-16 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP 4

Responses continue to enter till yesterday. I appreciate you all.

Tolulope

Secrecy I know is one of the tools the devil uses to draw a man away from God's plan for his life, when a man gives devil a foothold, he will eventually take a stronghold.... I would advice the sister to open up to counseling unit and tell them everything, from Start to finish.

Ademola

What I know is that foundation of relationship without Christ is bound to fail.

Do not help people with the aim of controlling them or expecting reward from them, help because God puts you in the position to help. Although, perfect help comes from God or else the reward could turn out unpleasant.

Kola thought being helpful to the lady was all needed to assure him of his partner without personal consultation from God.

To the lady she thought to reward of the Kola's kindness is to accept his proposal. When you help anyone, do not expect reward from them, it may come from other person and if someone render help to you, you are expected to be helpful to others and appreciate appropriately.

However, they should go on that fasting and praying with the aim to pray for the forgiveness of their sins not for relationship consultation or for a home not built on the truth of God's word.
God speaks, if they are compatible and meant  for each other, He will tell them and if not, they should go their separate ways.

After reading some comments I smiled. I'm glad, we are not God. I wonder what we would have done to these two people.

"Nevertheless the foundation of God stands sure, having this seal,The Lord knows them that are His. And, Let every one that name the name of Christ depart from iniquity" 2 Timothy 2:19

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06-07-16 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP 3

" I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved."Habakkuk 2:1

Till yesterday, I was still receiving advises for Sola and Kola. Let's check some:

Olaitan
The lady should quit. .. It's a danger zone for her. The guy is a leech, he needs a cook, homemaker and a bed mate - some one that will serve him.

Jaiye
Firstly, they are building their marriage away from the truth, (not telling the church that they stay together) that show that they known its wrong.
Secondly, prayer is the key...this shows that she/he or both of them didn't pray enough or together. They stay together but can't pray together. (What a shame)
I will not say God is revealing things to the woman, he can be his destined husband. A man can change and be right with God before or after marriage. They are getting it wrong because God is not the first in their life and their relationship.
Nice story.
My Advice: the girl should rent her own apartment/or stay with someone (a lady colleague), she should tell the church the truth,
She should pray more and let the Holy spirit lead her.

Joseph
Wisdom is all it takes...

Temitope
Hmmmm
I think it's obvious enough that Kola isn't what and who Sola assumed him to be. Living together wasn't a good idea in the first place,then getting engaged to a man God hasn't told you about is another mistake. Not every good and Godly man is the right man. You need to seek God's face for His Will, irrespective of the lady's /man's characters or qualities. All in the name of sudden and surprising proposals,many ladies have made a mistake of seeing such act as being *romantic* which is not,but it's rather called *being taken advantage of*.
Since it's just introduction, I will advise she moves out (she's earning enough to get an apartment) ,dissolve the relationship and seek God's forgiveness and light on who His Will is for her. Then,if God says it's still Kola,she has a lot to do in praying and seeking counsel on how to put things right,but I doubt if it would be him.😊.

By God's grace, we will still check the responses I got tomorrow and put a final touch to our subject matter by the end of the week.

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05-07-16 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:6

I'm sincerely encouraged by the responses I got from you all yesterday. Sola is confused, let's read some of the responses:

Olajide
To say that fact, Kola has been pretending to be who is not. There are many reasons why people go to church, some attend church programs not to serve or worship God but for personal reasons. These people tend to behave like a genuine Christians, once  their motive is achieved we will now see who they really are. Kola is now stylishly revealing his true nature to Sola. However, both parties have not actually prayed, they are just led by flesh, if not, Sola should not have said yes in that same night Kola proposed her. Sola has to seek the face of God to know if Kola is the right man for her. In the main time they should stop staying together, reduce communication and seek good counseling from the right people.

Esther wrote:
Out of sight, is out mind.

Biola
Let sola first decide to stay on her own for a while so as to let Kola come back to his senses cos if care is not taken, I smell danger around her....
Shalom.

Damilola also wrote:
Can a man carry fire in his bosom and not be burnt. No matter how tongue talking you are, its blood that is flowing in your veins and not zobo(Nigeria local drink). So they should stop living together. And Sola should pray very well if Kola is her husband. It's true the guy helped her but that doesn't mean he's her husband...

I still have some intriguing replies I will post tomorrow by God's grace.
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP!

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04-07-16 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

For which of you, intending to build a tower, sits not down first, and counts the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Luke 14:28

Kola, a decent man, was a saving grace for Sola when she needed an accommodation after her youth service in Abuja. They met at the church she joined after her service year.

Kola has a three-bedroom flat apartment closer to Sola's new office where she was retained after her youth service. She wouldn't let go of the job due to the economic situation of the country.

She moved in with Kola who gave her a room in his apartment. Kola is also a godly, caring and disciplined man. He has a good job and also a protocol officer in his church.

They were living fine as flat-mates with no emotional string attached; although none of them is engaged.

Kola buys the foodstuffs while Sola does the cooking and buys other minor expenses necessary in the house.
After a year of staying together, Sola decided to move to her own self-contain apartment which she just rented outside Kola's knowledge.

The day she was to inform Kola, he came home with a surprise.
He proposed to her and she got engaged that night. Kola gave out her accommodation to someone else, refunded Sola's money and insisted they continue to live together so that they could plan their wedding together.

Few months later, Sola was promoted and her salary scale increased which she sees as a confirmation to her answered prayers coupled with other signs such as their name, 'SOLA AND KOLA', compatibility of staying together without committing sexual sin and many others.
After their family introduction, some things started unfolding, Kola stopped buying foodstuffs and turned the responsibility to Sola. Physical touches started in the house and Sola kept wondering what has gotten into him. He returns late from work and have limited time with Sola in the name of being busy at work.
Sola does all the planning alone, Kola easily dozes when its time to discuss their plan.
They've started their marriage counseling session in church, although they did not inform the church that they are staying together.
One night, he tried to rape her but apologized the following day of not knowing what got into him. They started praying and fasting together towards their home but Sola is now afraid.

Please advise them.

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01-07-16 DIG DEEP

And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. Mark 8:24

Contribution 1

Hi ANNIE!
From my point of view Praise was impatient, he should have completed the fast and prayer.
Secondly,he interpreted the dream based on his expectation at the  moment!
Sometimes dreams come based on anxiety and if not careful spiritually it can serve as avenue 4 demonic manipulation.

Finally,i think he came too desperate,for Silvia not to open up that she has fiance till he proposed probably she thought he won't propose.....On d other hand,a month is too short to know the vital part of who a person is/a person...esp someone you intend to marry....His thoughts/strange desire misled him not God!
Mark 8:25 explains digging deep more and not just scratching d surface.
"Not all eyes that look see"
Thanks for the privilege to contribute and for your consistency.

Olamide

Contribution 2
The fact that God show him Silvia doesn't mean that is his wife. Maybe God wants to tell him other things about that sister. He should have waited till the seventh day.

Oluwadamilola

Contribution 3

Why not wait till the 7th day?????

Abiola

CONCLUSIVELY

Whatever light you receive towards anyone is like a potential gold that must be tested with fire, it needs enough heat, and more time to show forth it's true identity.
It's also like a seed that needs to be nursed, planted, watered, manured and harvested before conclusion is reached.

#It is very wrong to conclude or propose after receiving a light towards someone.#

Jesus puts His hand on the blind man the second time for clarity and restoration.
DIG DEEP into the mind of God before you take any further step and seek godly counsel.

Annie Cares
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