Copied from Anita Erskine's wall:
Hello dear, happy valentine's day to you and all your readers and followers. I'm a marriage counselor by profession and want to share briefly, something that will benefit every woman.
My husband and I were married for 25 years when I discovered his other family. A woman with 3 children for him. We have 2 girls. She has 2 girls and 1 boy. I discovered this through our family doctor.
My younger daughter was applying to pursue her Masters abroad and had gone to take some tests at the lab. She is 23. She has a job so could not get the results herself. So I offered to get them for her.
When I got to the clinic for her results, they gave me a package but the nurse asked if I can also wait for my second daughters tests. I was a bit confused because my older daughter is not even in Ghana. I comported myself and asked to see the doctor. A woman herself, she looked into the matter and immediately saw the discrepancy! The second test belonged to another girl. Same last name. Same father's name. Obviously the nurse wasn't thorough so she didn't LOOK at the mothers name!
So this is what happened to me all of 2015, discovering a lot about this hidden story. I never mentioned anything, all the while doing my investigations. On December 31st , I finally gathered courage and approached my husband about it. He didn't deny at all. Showed no remorse. Nothing. And then he dropped the bomb and then told me that I, rather, was the extramarital affair.
He met and married this lady 5 years before he met me. Because she was not giving him children, his family was giving him immense pressure and that's why he sought to find someone else. That someone was me. I immediately gave him 2 girls and he was prepared to divorce her and stay with me, when she eventually got pregnant.
He said the last child, which is the boy, brought him so much clarity and the tough experience he went through with his first wife, brought them back together in a way he never imagined. The boy was born with some development challenges and he learnt a lot through that.
For 25 good years I was the concubine. My sister and I never ever ever knew it. For 25 good years. But for me, as painful as it is, my own lesson is in realizing that it's a price I'm paying for being so hasty.
25 years ago,, I was also in a rush for marriage. I didn't ask questions. He came to my family and gave them the drinks. I was satisfied. I never even bothered to ask for us to go to sign. I was comfortable. Sheer stupidity.
So then now, he has given me the option of staying or leaving. I'm yet to decide. And yes, I am a marriage counselor. The irony of it all. Preaching on what it takes for a marriage to be successful and mine isn't even real. I want to tell the ladies out there. Please be careful. Use me as an example. Don't just be jumping at everything. Especially without asking questions. Don't do it to yourself. It will break your spirit. Be careful of what you're promised. And never be afraid to investigate. You have only one life. Treat it with dignity. My few words this morning.
Stay blessed.
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