01/05/18 Graced Relationship Recipe

Word Count
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Amos:3:3

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED

Apologizing is a Sign of Strength
After spending a lifetime counseling other couples, I am convinced that there is no marriages without apology and forgiveness. I draw this conclusion from the reality that all of us are human and human sometimes do and say things that are demeaning to other people. These unloving words and actions create emotional barriers between the people involved. Those barriers do not go away with the passing time. They are removed only when we apologize and the offended party chooses to forgive.

#goodmorning
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#monthofgrace
#learntoapologize

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27/04/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

Ways to resolving Conflicts

Conclusion:
In one of these ways we have considered in the past two days, the key of course is creating a friendly atmosphere by listening to each other and affirming each other's perspective rather than accusing each other of illogical thinking. When we learn to affirm each other's idea and conflicts in marriage relationship and learn to work together as a team. I wish someone had told Karolyn and I before we got Married. It would have saved hours of wasted and meaningless arguments.

TAKING IT OVER:
IN YOUR OPINION, HOW WELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN REACHING WIN-WIN SOLUTIONS WHEN YOU HAVE DISAGREEMENTS?

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO CHANGE OR CONTINUE IN ORDER TO IMPROVE?

END OF CHAPTER 4

proverbs18:22
#goodmorning
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#listenduringconflict
#sacrifice&relationships
#wisdomdirectsinapproach

26/05/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

Ways to resolving Conflicts
3) Meeting Later: This approach says, "At the moment, I am not able to conscientiously agree with your idea, and I don't see a place to meet in the middle. Can we just agree that for the moment, we disagree on this? And we will discuss it again in a week or month, and look for a solution. In the meantime,we will love each other, enjoy each other and support each other. This will not be a disruptive factor in our marriage/relationship."

This is a perfectly legitimate response to a conflict when, at the moment, you cannot find a long term solution. A month from now, things may look different or new possibilities may come to mind so that you can find a compromise with which both of you will feel good.

In some areas of life, "meeting later" can be a permanent solution especially in areas where there is no "right" nor "wrong" answer.

#proverbs18:22
#goodmorning
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#listenduringconflict
#sacrifice&relationships
#wisdomdirectsinapproach

25/04/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

Ways to resolving Conflicts

1) Meeting in the middle: There is always a solution to conflict. Two individuals who choose to be friends will find that solution.
Meeting in the middle connotes that you find a meeting place by agreeing to do a part of what each you desired while each of you sacrifices a bit. Finding a meeting place in the middle of your original idea so that both of you agree is workable.

2) Meeting on Your Side: This means that after you hear each other's ideas and feelings, one of you decides that on this occasion, it is best to do what the other has in mind. This is total sacrifice of your original idea, choosing rather to do why your spouse desires and to do it with a positive attitude. You are choosing to do what they desire as an act of love and because you care about them and you see how important it is to them. Sometimes the decision to agree with the other person's idea will involve great sacrifice. However, love always involves some SACRIFICE.

We will consider the last phase of this chapter on Conflict Resolution tomorrow by God's grace.
Stay tuned and humble to take corrections.

#proverbs18:22
#goodmorning
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#listenduringconflict
#sacrifice&relationships

24/04/18 Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

How to Solve Disagreements without Arguing.
It is based on the concept of showing genuine respect for the other individual, giving them full freedom to think their own thoughts, have their own opinions, and have their own reasons for these opinions. It is expressing understanding and affirming that their ideas make sense. It takes away the adversarial atmosphere in resolving conflicts and creates an atmosphere of friendship.

After you have heard and affirmed each other as ideas, you are now ready to look for a solution to the conflict. The big word in finding a solution is "compromise".

Often we think that compromise is a negative word. Compromise in marriage is not only positive but it is necessary.

Compromise means to find a meeting place. It requires each of you willing to give up something in order to have harmony in the marriage. If, on the other hand, we both insist on having our way, then we are back in the argument mode.

IN MARRIAGE, IT IS NEVER "HAVING MY WAY". IT RATHER DISCOVERING "OUR" WAY.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#listenduringconflict
#compromiseisnecessary

20/04/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

How to Solve Disagreements without Arguing.
Large or small, all conflicts have the potential of destroying an evening, a week, a month, or a lifetime. On the other hand, conflicts have the potential of teaching us how to love, support, and encourage each other. This is by far the better road to travel. The difference is in how you process the conflicts.

Once you have accepted the reality of conflicts, you have to discover a healthy plan for processing that conflict. Such a plan begins with recognising the need to listen. When most of us have conflicts, we feel we need to talk, but talking without listening leads to arguments.

THE REAL NEED IS THE NEED TO LISTEN.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#listenduringconflict
#learnduringconflict

19/04/18 Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

How to Solve Disagreements without Arguing.

First, we must begin  by accepting the reality that we will have conflicts. Conflicts are not a sign that we have married a wrong person. They simply affirm that you are human. We all tend to assume that our ideas are the best ideas. What we all fail to recognize is that our spouse has the same opinion ofGje ideas.
Our ideas and perception of life are influenced by our history, our values and our personality. And these factors are different for each of us.
We have major and minor conflicts.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#fulfilpurpose

17/04/18 Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

How to Solve Disagreements without Arguing.

There are no married couples who do not encounter conflicts, for one simple reason - we are individuals. As individuals we have different desires, different likes and dislikes, different things that irritate and pleases us.

In those days, I embraced the thought, "I have married the wrong person. Surely, if I had married the right person, it would not be like this." I am sure my wife, Karolyn had the same thoughts.

In talking about older couples, we later discovered that all marriages have conflicts. Some couples learn how to resolve it in a friendly manner while others resort to heated arguments.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory

04/04/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

"Like Mother, Like Daughter" and "Like Father, Like Son"

Whether we are talking about positive or negative characteristics, most of us are far more like our parents than we realize.

Communication patterns are another area in which we tend to be line our parents. Because we have grown up with our parents, we don't recognize their pattern of communication as being unhealthy even if it is.
The good news is that these communication patterns can be changed and time to make the changes is while we are in a relationship.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#JesuswantsYou

gracedrelationshiprecipe.blogspot.com

03/04/18. Graced Relationship Recipe

WORD COUNT
"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

Book Review
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED.

"Like Mother, Like Daughter" and "Like Father, Like Son"

I am not suggesting that the girl you meet will turn out to be exactly like her mother, nor that the man will be exactly like his father. I am saying that you are both greatly influenced by your parents.

If he has a father who is controlling and verbally abusive, don't be surprised if in ten years he has similar traits. To some degree, we are all products of our environment. Research indicates that abusive men were always abused children.

To be continued tomorrow by God's grace.

#proverbs18:22
#goodevening
#anniesentcares
#bookreview
#garychapman
#yearofvictory
#happynewmonth
#Jesusthereasonfortheseason

gracedrelationshiprecipe.blogspot.com